a lot of people assume because i dont talk a lot that its because im in a bad mood or grumpy or being cold with them but its just like a genuinely have nothing to say!! i am not an interesting person!! i dont know how to respond to people 90% of the time dont take it personally!!
a friendly reminder:
don’t hang out with people that make you feel bad about yourself
- gurlfriend: happy fathers day
- bf: but im not a dad
- gf: :)
if you dont annoy me congratulations because 98% of people annoy me
when your internet isnt really working well and your whole dash is just blank squares and you still scroll through it attentively
- Status: Rain! :)
- Older person on Facebook: Us too, so badly needed as well. Tell your mom I said hi. How is the family? Tell everyone hi from us. We miss you all so much. Wish we could be there. You're a beautiful young woman.
- Straight Person: But who pays for the date?
- Queer Person: No one. We dine-and-dash, cackling as we run out the door, flying away on our broomsticks as we flip everyone the bird. It's part of the Gay Agenda.
There needs to be a code word or something that means “my brain is fighting me every step of the way today and I feel like I’m going to vibrate out of my skin, so I need you to forgive everything and go slowly and speak softly and lower your expectations.” And then we could all just be like, “I know I said we could go to a movie tonight but… tangerines.” And the other person would nod and squeeze your elbow or rub your head and you wouldn’t feel like a failure.
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.
Until the LSD wears off and I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
“I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin
i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again
Realistic Erotica: “Please don’t stop,” she moaned just as my fucking hand started to really cramp.